Thursday, August 13, 2009
China Top Ten
1) Playing 5-a-side football with and against guys from all over the world. I made some good mates!
2) Getting kicked in the head during an all in brawl whilst playing football! Who would have thought there was some truth to the stereotype about Chinese people and Kung Fu
3) Travelling throughout the Tibetan lands in Yunnan, Sichuan and Gansu.
4) Hanging out with Renko and his family in the grasslands of Langmusi
5) Teaching my Chinese kids English and a little about life too.
6) Learning about life and myself, with the help of my students
7) Yoga!! I would return tomorrow to Beijing just to go to a class at Yoga Yard. God I miss that place.
8) My local fruit sellers. Lovely people and ready to serve 24/7. By the end they would pick out the best Xia Guar (watermelon) and save it for me!! Great People
9) Gan Bien Dou Ja, Bu Fang La.
10) The lifestyle. Having the time to go to Yoga every morning before work, eating out twice a day everyday, going out with good mates, hanging out with cool students, going for massages whenever I wanted, etc
The list could go on. All in All, China was great. It wasn’t all sunshine and lolly pops, but those dark times led to some huge breakthroughs and some very happy times.
I do miss it greatly.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
It tolls for thee
A human lost their life this day, and yet, here I sit, more concerned with bejewelled than with the personal tragedy that is unfolding.
It seems that it would be easier to teach a duck to play the flute than to explain why this death is important to all of us. No matter how hard I ponder this point, no matter how hard I try to find a reason to care, the best I can do is think about whether I should rest my eyes and fingers now or keep pushing on.
What is wrong with us? Why don’t we care? Why will I be more likely to discuss my bejewelled success rather than take a few minutes to mourn the loss of a fellow human?
I know what you are thinking, it’s just you. You and you alone are cold hearted. Maybe that’s true, maybe I am particularly cold and disinterested, but if it’s just me, then why is no one attending to the deaths of millions on a daily basis. Why is the price of fuel more important than how we get it? Why is it ok to sell coal to countries that kill there own people? Why do we all suffer at the hands of each other, when with a bit of charity and love we could all prosper equally?
And that, my friends, is the rub. For we no longer want to prosper equally; we wish to be individually the biggest, the best, the brightest, the richest, or whatever other superlative floats your boat. Being average is no longer good enough. Hell, being great isn’t either, unless you are the superlative, you are nothing.
I’m not sure when exactly it happened, maybe between oil wars or as a result of globalisation, but suddenly and for no good reason we ceased to be a beneficial society that applauded itself for being communally the ‘greatest’ and started striving to be superlatives in our own right. The result is that we all suffer, for as John Donne so rightly points out, “no man is an island…”
I am not asking anyone to join Medecins Sans Frontieres, hell, I’m not even asking that you to pause bejewelled; all I am asking is that next time you hear the rail guard announce a fatality, take a few moments to mourn. For with each moment taken you move closer to the ultimate goal; to once again be considered part of humankind.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Beijing where art thou?
Work is fine, the house is fine, my friends are fine... but i want the excitment of not knowing what people are saying, of figuring it out and making new friends because of it. I want a fruit vender right outside my front door in case i suddenly decide I want watermelon at 1o o'clock at night, I want a transport system that can take me anywhere, anytime. I want taxi drivers that call their friends for directions when they don't know where to go, I want to be the odd one out, I want to be stared at, I want to be a laowai. I want to be in Beijing.
Reverse culture shock is f**ked, totally and utterly.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Blocked!
With the help of a proxy server i'm able to post this, but alas, the proxy doesn't give me full functionality and so I can't post photos! and so, i just can't get motivated to tell you about my travels to Kunming, Dali, Lijiang, Shangri La, Chengdu, Songpan, Langmusi, Lanzhou and Xining, without being able to show you the photos.
However, I will tell you about my non-visit to Xiahe, a wonderful Tibetan Lamastry village that despite my best efforts and thanks to the wonderful efficiency and helpfullness of Chinas Finest, I DID NOT visit.
But not now. I am planning on heading back to Sichuan with Skye next week, and i really don't need any dramas, especially as the police took photocopies of my passport.
I know, I know, you think i'm paranoid. But remember i'm writing this post through a proxy server onto a banned website, oh and don't forget the incident with the pot (sorry Teresa, 'potted') plants. I'll post my stories when i'm back in Oz.
Monday, May 11, 2009
A Day In The Life...
The queue for the escalators is the same everyday. Wake up people! its not a magic stairway, it's a bloody escalator!
Shy kids. Charlie, Eric, Frank, Simon, and the lovely Hannah at the back. After saying my final farewells to them yesterday, Hannah came running back in, gave me a hug and said, "Teacher, I miss you!" I tell you what, the pollen count was outrageous at that moment, because my eyes were watering badly!
Frank my absolute favourite student, giving me the stink eye after I told him off for being naughty.
Not a happy camper. Eric lost the place all together after a run in with Frank. Not that I take sides, but Frank got a sticker and Eric got told to HTFU
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Swine Flu, Muppets and Red-necks
Whilst I don't believe this latest outbreak is quite the threat that the media is making out(although I do feel for the families of the people who have lost their lives), I do hold grave concerns about the lasting effects the outbreak will have. I sense that as more people lose their lives in America, more and more rednecks in Texas and in fact all over the world will start sprouting rubbish about how this is perfect evidence of why immigration needs to be controlled.
If you are currently harbouring these thoughts as you read this, I beg you, please just take the time to think about it. Illegal immigrants don't spread contagious diseases; they simply die from them. These outbreaks are spread by rich people like you and I who jet around the world at an alarming pace! Then when we get sick, we simply pop a couple of codral and soldier on, ensuring that our germs are spread to every poor bastard on the subway/bus/train.
And for those currently suffering from "Flu like symptoms": WAKE UP... Its a COLD!
Monday, April 13, 2009
The darkness lifts
Spring has Sprung people... anything is possible!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Power!
But this is a funny thing. Why do we sit back and wait for the these powerful few to take pity on us, wait for them to realise their mistakes. Why don't we stand-up and fight against them; buck their system; demand change; demand a better life for ourselves and our children?
Oh, that's right, they are too powerful; they call the shots.
Bullshit!
It seems to me that power is not gained, it is given.
People, companies and institutions are powerful because we allow them to be. Whether it's your partner, McDonald's or the Government, the reason they have power is because we, the masses, give them that power. We allow them to dictate what we want and how we want it. We allow them to control our thoughts, desires and dreams. And in doing so, we make them powerful.
Then once we are depleted, we sit back, resigned to our 'destiny' and claim there is nothing we can do.
Bullshit.
The problem is that we have been supplying power to the 'powerful' for so long that we have been sucked into their reality. A reality where personal wealth, safety and security are more important than the overall well-being of our fellow man. We may often get upset, angry and frustrated by the state of our world, but when push comes to shove, we look after ourselves first, after all, who would benefit if I make a protest and quit my job because of their unfair policies. No one, because I'm just one person, a single individual who is easily replaced.
You see, this is what they want you to think. This is how they continue to feed off our power. You are not living in isolation. You are part of a massive ecosystem, where your thoughts, words and actions are powerful. When you speak, people will listen. When you act, people will follow.
But here's the clincher - you MUST speak out, you MUST act.
Do not allow fear to get in the way of your conscience. And do not allow the powerful to exercise your power against you.
Only once we all realise this. Once we all break free from their spell, will we be able to create a world that we want and love.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
ACL – Beijing Style
Pre-match warm-up
In order to score good seats, I wandered down to the stadium early on match day to purchase the tickets from ‘the gate’; the early worm and all that. I could have been even earlier and secured the tickets online or something, but that task seemed about as easy in Beijing as finding the lost city of Atlantis with a snorkel and dolphin touch. No, this one was convenience all the way, and anyway, how many punters were really going to turn out on a chilly Beijing evening to see Guoan take on The Jets (the powerhouses of international football that they are!)
I strolled up to the security guard who was guarding the main entrance gate Chinese style (that is to say, he was all dressed up in a beautifully manicured uniform, but slumped on a stool playing video games on his phone) and asked where the ticket booth was. He gave me a huge smile, and started waving his arm like a cricket umpire announcing another Ponting boundary. At that exact moment, I heard a small rumble and when I turned I was nearly trampled by about 25 scalpers.
They were yelling and screaming, and pulling me this way and that, they all had the best deal and could all offer me more. Not convinced, I made my way to the booth, well, I say booth but I mean trestle table with a picture of the seating outline taped to it, and two very bored and disinterested young guys sitting behind it. As I approached, they waved me away, and simply pointed back to the gaggle of scalpers. Fair enough too, no need to sell direct when you’ve just unloaded most of the tickets onto the black market.
After about 15 minutes of negotiation, not over the price, but rather to secure 3 tickets with sequential numbering, I was holding in my hand three glorious Category A tickets (sequential) for the princely sum of RMB150 (approx AUD36). Bargain!
Funny thing about the sequential seating; the scalper just couldn’t comprehend why I wanted them. My Chinese is sketchy at best, but he seemed at a complete loss! Still realising that the sequential seats was the clincher for the sale he sorted it out for me. This was, of course, a warning sign but I missed it.
I had no doubt the scalper’s tickets were legit. I mean sure, they were on flimsy paper, and had the seat numbers stamped on, but its China right, no drama. That was of course until I met up with some friends pre-match, and noticed their tickets were card-board, printed and clearly had been purchased from an official ‘booth’ that more than likely had a roof! Still, it’s China right…no drama!
Kick-off
I should have known better. Never, repeat, NEVER agree to meet up with non-football fans before a match. Firstly, because you spend the whole time explaining what the ACL is, what a league is, how you qualify, why it’s important, and YES football is popular in Australia, just not in your rugby orientated mind… and why are you wearing a Wallabies Jersey again?
Too late; the mistake was made. Don’t get me wrong they are all lovely, and I guess its more people that are being introduced to football and so, more people that may support it when they return to Oz. But the main reason you should never meet up with non-football fans before the game is because they don’t understand the importance of getting to a stadium that you have never been to before early to; a) soak up the atmosphere and b) find your seat.
Needless to say, we missed the kick-off. I was running up the stairs when I heard the whistle blow. Not happy.
Interestingly, at the top of the stairs I suddenly realised two things; firstly, if you remove ‘most’ of the people from Beijing, that still leaves a lot of people. Hence, whilst most of the people in Beijing have no interest in local football, there are still a lot that do. So many in fact that even after you remove the very poor (who can’t afford tickets), the people that hate the cold, and those that prefer to watch the Beautiful Game on TV or in the pub, Beijing Guoan can still pull a crowd of over 30,000 screaming fans. Unbelievable!
The second thing was why the scalper couldn’t understand my insisting on sequential seating. As it turns out, your ticket is for the bay only, once in, it’s every man for himself and as we arrived moments after kick-off, the steward smiled and pointed to the top of the stand… the nose bleeds. This was going to be the true long march!
Luckily, another steward took pity on us and pointed us to three cheeky seats down near the front of the first tier hidden amongst the masses, with a cracking view and surrounded by some seriously noisy fans. Things were starting to look up.
We managed to squeeze our way past the people who arrived early and so had better seats closer to the aisle and settle in just in time for Beijing’s latest Aussie import to slot home a lovely goal and put Guoan one up, and send the fans around the stadium into a complete frenzy.
The Match
As a general rule Chinese people are both patriotic and reserved. The former is clear at a football match, as they cheer and chant with every touch of the ball for the home team. The latter is not so obvious as they hurl unbridled abuse at the away team with every touch. Now I’m not just talking about the usual taunts, of ‘go home’, ‘you’re rubbish’ etc, but nasty, racist and sometimes just down right rude comments. For a long time they were chanting “big nose” and “donkey penis”. The first insult is obvious, but I’m still at a loss how suggesting a man has a penis like a donkey’s is insulting.
No-one, except the Guoan players (many of whom are big noses and donkey penis’ themselves) were immune from the chants. The referee, as one would expect, received several choruses of “sha bi” (excuse the spelling) which means in English… well… ahh… let’s just say it rhymes with punt.
I know what you’re thinking, it’s the same everywhere; people fall into the group mentality and go mental. They become momentary thugs and racists as the emotion of the moment takes over. And I agree, it’s just whilst Beijingers are emotional, they very rarely show it, and it is pretty unheard of that anyone except a taxi driver would drop the C-word in the company of anyone except their drinking buddies. But on that chilly Beijing evening, even the young kid sitting on front of us, was chanting whilst occasionally smiling at his father.
Ah football… what does it do to us?
Of course, Beijing being Beijing, it wasn’t all aggression and racism. In fact, there was a large contingent of the crowd that were fantastic and completely taken in the moment. Naturally the die-hards were behind the goal and managed to sing, chant, wave flags and do the ‘bouncy bouncy’ throughout the whole game. But the best fans, and this is something that is possibly unique to Beijing, were the “child-like” adults; the grown men that would giggle like school girls as they punched the giant beach ball back into the air, or the old men, getting angry because the next bay failed to continue the wave. This is why I love Beijing and love going to any sporting event held here. The crowd is devoted to their team and also able to release and have a good time. Granted that comes with some bad elements, but for the most part its hilarious and fun to be a part of.
I would love to comment here on the Jets fans that travelled half way around the world to support their team, and show the Guoan punters what true devotion is. But alas, if there were any there, I didn’t see them. Despite a heavy security presence in the ‘away’ section behind the goal, there was not one single Jets jersey amongst the green of the security uniforms. Poor show Jets, poor show.
Post Match
I can’t quite put my finger on it, but for some reason I absolutely loved watching The Jets get pumped by an equally poor Guoan outfit. Let’s not beat around the bush, the game was poor, neither looked particularly impressive and beside a few good runs by the Guoan players there was very little happening. I know I should have been supporting my countrymen, but the reality is I’m a Sydney fan – fullstop.
There is nothing better that watching players your team has rejected play horrendously bad on the world stage. I know, I know, if Petrovski had slotted home late the in second half (and he should have, it was a massive sitter) I would have been claiming that he was a Sydney man originally. But still, he missed and we were right to shift him. As for poor ‘old’ Topor Stanley, I thought he was OK, but the crowd seemed to hate him. They booed his every touch. I like to think that the instant hatred was nothing more sinister that the fact that he’s rubbish and was wearing the dreaded number 4 (never underestimate the power of a number).
This game was clear evidence of the power of the ACL. If 32,000 devoted punters can turn out on a chilly Beijing school night to watch their side pump a ‘not-at-the-top-of-their-game’ Jets side, then imagine the draw for Guoan vs Urawa Red Diamonds, with all that simmering hatred between the Chinese and Japanese. They’d be erecting outdoor screens across the city for that clash.
All we need now is to develop a bigger Australian travelling contingent and, oh yeah, more competitive A-league sides!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
A quick word on face.
Yesterday Skye and I went to a Chinese cooking class (it was fantastic by the way! thank you Fairweathers and Hobbs'). During the seasoning and knife work section of the class, we were rudely interrupted by what sounded like a massive tree smashing against the roof of the beautifully old Hutong house and kitchen in which we were working. The whole building shook with the force of the blow.
Our teacher, shocked by the noise and a little concerned about the well-being of her home/workplace went to investigate. Now, neither of us speaks Chinese, nor did the two other blokes taking the class, but what we heard went something like this:
Teacher: "excuse me kind sir, I have several people next door working, and I would appreciate that you were a little more careful when pruning your trees"
Neighbour: SCREAMING "shut up, I didn't mean to do it, how dare you come here and tell me off for something i didn't mean to do, get the hell out of here, you idiot"
Teacher: "thank you, please just be more careful"
Neighbour: SCREAMING: "DIE YOU IDIOT DIE!!!!!!!"
(please note, this is a dialog was based on the tone of the conversation, the decibel level, and the look of shock on the teacher's face when she returned, NOT on my understanding of Chinese language)
Naturally, when the teacher returned, we all had a giggle at the expense of the retard neighbour and how quite clearly he is a mental patient. And, with that, we continued on learning about the wonders of Soy Sauce.
However, the crazy neighbour didn't stop, he was still yelling, even though there appeared to be no one out there with him. Then, "BANG!"
the front door gets kicked in, and its the neighbour, completely unhinged and threatening to kill everyone and smash the place up, except, what he probably didn't realise is that the tiny little teacher wasn't alone in her little kitchen, and so just as he prepared to burst through the door and "sort the situation out", he was confronted by 4 foreigners, 3 of them men, and all of them standing in shock holding massive meat cleavers!!!
Luckily, he made the wise decision to retreat, and just yell from outside. Our teacher, an old hand at dealing with Beijingers, simply slammed the door in his face and bolted it shut.
This commotion and carry-on was the result, not of the tree falling on the house, but rather because the neighbour, needing to protect his Face and manhood, could not admit he made a mistake. So, rather than simply saying to the teacher, "yeah sorry, I dropped the ball with that one, won't happen again", he takes the offensive and tries to demonstrate to everyone who will listen that she is mental, and crazy and attacking him for no reason.
I mean after all, what sort of weirdo would come and investigate a massive tree smashing against their roof? why wouldn't they just accept that the person cutting down the tree didn't mean it, and its all OK... why cause a fuss?
Face makes some people mental, beyond all belief.
It seems that very few people here have figured out that in saving your own face, you end up making a complete tit out of yourself. It's like the person who doesn't like to be the centre of attention and hates the spotlight, so instead of making the speech, bursts into tears in the middle of the room and then storms out all snot and wailing. That is, they end up getting exactly what they didn't want.
This idiot was no different. He made a complete and monumental tit of himself and in my opinion lost the respect of everyone that lives within that hutong, and the respect of all of you, because his behaviour is now on my blog. What a complete knob! All this rubbish because he has no idea how to cut down a tree!
The concept of face is yet another example of the contradictions of Beijing. That said, it made for a bit of excitement, and another entry to the blog, and for that I am grateful. And, more importantly opened my eyes to another interesting aspect of the human condition, something I am becoming more and more interested in.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Cambodia - 2
Cool entrance
A massive tree growing on the temple.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Seven Months in Beijing
Having said that, we're now 7 months into this current journey, and I think its important to let you all in on what its like living in Beijing. Not so much the practicalities, which are sometimes mundane and often humorous, and so the usual fodder for this blog, but rather how it feels.
One of the biggest challenges for me in Beijing so far has been confronting myself. It's easy at home to duck and weave and distract myself for long periods to avoid actually sorting any of my issues out. It's different here.
Suddenly my issues have become so abundantly clear because everything else around me is different; the country, the job, the people, the language, the food, the house, and yet, I suffer from the same feelings and issues that I did at home. Except here there's no-one else to blame.
So what to do? I can either sort it out, or run. But run where? home? another country?
Of course, its possible to do nothing. To simply ride out my time here with my head in the sand, finding things to blame, and walking around with a superiority complex explaining to the world why I know best and why I'm balanced. But that seems unhealthy.
No, the answer for me (made this morning at about 9am) is to face the issues, sort them out once and for all, and then move on.
This is by no means easy, nor is it negative or depressing. In fact, its a great feeling; a feeling of empowerment. I'm ready to shed my baggage and start traveling a little lighter.
The point is I'm changing. Beijing isn't changing me, but rather I am trying to change myself, trying to get into balance. I'm not sure what it means, or where it will lead me, but that's the great thing about positive change; it's a mystery.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Cambodia: 1
I don't know exactly what it is about the place, the feel, the smell, the warmth, the smiling and friendly people, but there is a spirituality that simply can not be expressed in words. I now know why Skye adores it, and am starting to develop strong feelings for the place myself.
I am determined to return at some stage and spend some time to really to get know her.
Here's some photos of Phnom Penh, and possibly some of the last photo's of the sunset over the lake from the Drunken Frog guesthouse! (its a long and horrible story... one for another post)
Sunset on Day 2. The Drunken Frog is great place to stay. The staff are unbelievably friendly. We stayed a few days here at first, then returned for two more after going to Siem Riep. On our return we were greeted with huge hugs and told, that 'Our' room is available. Lovely people.
This is a temple on the only hill in town. A cool place full of monkey's and very poor people, begging and selling their wares. This is one of the great contradictions in this town. There is so much love and beauty, and yet, so many people struggling to survive.
Skye on the deck of the Drunken Frog.
Sunset over the Drunken Frog. The Govt. has sold the lake to developers who are currently filling it with sand so they can build a resort. Very shit, but the sunset, while it lasts, is amazing.
At the aforementioned temple, lighting incense for the 'Big Man'.
Enjoying a cleansing ale at the Foreign Correspondents Club over looking the Tonle Sap River. This club is one of the few fully western places in Phnom Penh and a nice place to recover from culture shock.