Seven Months in Beijing

OK, so I think you all know by now that I usually reserve this blog for funny stories, with the intention to make you all smile, and at the same time allow me to re-create my experiences, process them and store them in the funny/interesting category in my mind. To this end this blog is nice.

Having said that, we're now 7 months into this current journey, and I think its important to let you all in on what its like living in Beijing. Not so much the practicalities, which are sometimes mundane and often humorous, and so the usual fodder for this blog, but rather how it feels.

One of the biggest challenges for me in Beijing so far has been confronting myself. It's easy at home to duck and weave and distract myself for long periods to avoid actually sorting any of my issues out. It's different here.

Suddenly my issues have become so abundantly clear because everything else around me is different; the country, the job, the people, the language, the food, the house, and yet, I suffer from the same feelings and issues that I did at home. Except here there's no-one else to blame.

So what to do? I can either sort it out, or run. But run where? home? another country?

Of course, its possible to do nothing. To simply ride out my time here with my head in the sand, finding things to blame, and walking around with a superiority complex explaining to the world why I know best and why I'm balanced. But that seems unhealthy.

No, the answer for me (made this morning at about 9am) is to face the issues, sort them out once and for all, and then move on.

This is by no means easy, nor is it negative or depressing. In fact, its a great feeling; a feeling of empowerment. I'm ready to shed my baggage and start traveling a little lighter.

The point is I'm changing. Beijing isn't changing me, but rather I am trying to change myself, trying to get into balance. I'm not sure what it means, or where it will lead me, but that's the great thing about positive change; it's a mystery.