Update and stuff

I've been copping a little flack in the comments section about having posts with just pictures and no words. Naturally I take these comments positively and assume that you all love my magical writing so much and are merely disappointed with the lack of words. So much for a picture saying a thousand words!

Anyway this post is an update, and an update is what you'll get....in words.

Let's start with the lovely Skye. She's great! Irritatingly her Chinese language ability far outweighs mine. She just has a knack for proper pronunciation, which, as you may be aware is all that really matters in Chinese. For example, the sound mei (may), means either buy or sell depending on the tone used. This obviously can create confusion when suddenly the shopkeeper wonders why a foreigner wants to sell her a bottle of water.

Overall I think i've learnt more chinese from Skye than from my chinese teacher!

Skye's job is touch and go at the moment, whilst I'll leave the details up to Skye, essentially she has very little work to do. I can hear many out there saying, 'lucky her', but the reality is that Skye is trying to build her career and its not being helped by doing nothing of any importance, and dealing with a knob of a boss (he's a German Australian cross, and a strange man!) But there are positives of course. She is heading out on a field trip later this week, I can't pronounce where she is going, so I have no hope of spelling it. Its somewhere in Western China though, and it means an opportunity for her to see some of countryside and get out of Beijing for a while.

What's next, ahhh, me of course! It was only a matter of time until I turned my self-indulgent blog back on myself..... Well I am good. As i mentioned my language skills are ok, but i struggle with pronunciation. But then I can't pronounce many English words correctly so I'm not sure what i expected. We all remember, everybuddy! Having said that, I'm also keen to give it a go, and being an English teacher I am also able to demonstrate or sign just about any word. Seriously, if only I could go back in time 60 years, I'd give Charlie Chaplin a run for his money. The combination of bad Chinese and good sign language means I get my meaning across, even if most Chinese people think I'm crazy.

Talking of crazy I have taught my high level students two new and very important English phrases:

"Are you mental?" and
"You are a Muppet!"

Nothing makes me happier than after I have done some bizarre demonstration, or created some crazy game, to hear the kiddies say, 'are you mental?". I'm even laughing now with the thought.

teaching is bloody great. Sure its fun and the kids are great, but I also have the ability to shape young minds, which sounds tacky but its true and important. Often the kids first and main contact with the foreign is with me. If I act weird or strange, they may well believe all foreigners are weird and strange. Its a lot of pressure, but its great. For example, I was recently teaching a class about Famous and Infamous. They gave me a million people that were famous, all Chinese sporting hero's and actors, but they couldn't think of any for infamous, so I helped them out.......... George W Bush! Yay...

As an aside, did you know the Chinese name for George W Bush, in pinyin (the translation from chinese characters to English letters) is 'Bu Shi' (pronounced Boo Sure). Sounds just like 'Bush' with a chinese accent when you say it. This sounds also means, 'Not right'. Bu is not, and Shi is yes or right.

So when he is introduced, he is being introduced as President Not Right. A fair estimation of the man I believe.

I have been reliably informed that this double meaning is not intended, as the actual characters for Bush are not the same as the characters for not correct, they just sound the same. Still in a country where they believe the number 4 is bad luck because it sounds like the word for death, I can't believe they didn't get the joke when the translated his name!

Here's another nice teaching story, that doesn't involve me warping the young minds of Chinese students:

At the end of every small stars class (under 6's) we have to write in what we call the children's Passports. Its just like a weekly report card. I normally write things like, 'Well done Eric, good effort', or if the kid is naughty, "wow, Frank, you have lots of energy", The kid can't understand, and either can the parents, but we do it anyway. As well as writing comments, we also give the kids stickers. Stickers to a Chinese child are extremely important, they are a status symbols and are not be to taken lightly. I found this out first hand, when a little girl, Katherine, got to the front of the passport line, but didn't have her passport. I was forced to send her away sticker-less. I obviously very nicely said, ask your mum where your passport is and come back', well, this was clearly unacceptable, and she opened a barrage of Chinese on me like no other. Absolute nonstop abuse, until her face turned red. This was made worse when I said, "Wo Ting Bu Dong" which means, "I can hear you, but can't understand", I thought she was going to stab me. Meanwhile the other kids, sensing that my life on this earth was coming to an end, were rushing to get their stickers before Katherine killed me with her bare hands.

Filthy on the world and especially me, Katherine spun around and marched out, no doubt to tell her mum that the hairy monster refused to give her a sticker (or in fact the several stickers she deserved for behaving impeccably all class). When she returned she had her mum in toe. Katherine was fuming and her mum was ashen faced as if she too had copped a barrage of abuse. He mother explained that she and not Katherine was to blame for the missing passport and was it possible for Katherine to have a sticker anyway, and placed on her hand. I gave Katherine a sticker, and as if my magic, the anger dissipated, she smiled, gave me a hug and said Bye Bye.

Never, and I mean never, get between a Chinese kid and a sticker. Its not worth it.

Well folks that's about all I got for now. I am planning on writing some retrospective stories about the Great Wall incident, and a few others things that have been going on, but they will have to wait sorry.