Oh my GOD!

God is either lazy, an arsehole, or simply doesn't give a shit anymore.

If I hear another person tell me that God is all loving and forgiving, i'll demonstrate the flaw in their argument by beating the shit out of them with a clear conscious knowing that their God will love and forgive me.

The fact of the matter is, regardless of whether you believe in a higher power, the universe, oneness or nothing, humans, by and large are messed up. And, given an opportunity will do whatever they can to get ahead, be safe or be powerful.

Ok, I know, this is a negative take on the world. I know there are wonderful people out there doing wonderful things, but you realise why they are doing wonderful things don't you? because someone has already done something messed up.

Mother Teresa is a saint because she helped people that someone else screwed. Mandela and Gandhi saved their people from slavery. Dr. Martin Luther King drew attention to the abuse of his people by the majority. The list goes on, and I promise you, in almost every case the hero is restoring people to a happy state. A state robbed from them.

God is not great. He's a just a bloke that got this cool new toy and played with it for a while, then got bored, put it into the cupboard and forgot about it.

God is not dead, he has just moved on. And I think it's high time we did the same.

Learning

I broke up a fight yesterday at school. Standard procedure I guess for teachers, albeit unusual in an international school in China.

It was an interesting punch on. One of our students was involved and about 10 chinese students from the Chinese school that shares our campus. One vs Ten, not good odds, but as it turns out, our lad can handle himself (after all he was raised on the mean streets of Mexico) and so he managed to inflict a fair amount of damage until he was overcome by the sheer weight of numbers.

By the time I ran down the 10 flights of stairs to rescue him, the fight was in a lull and had descended to yelling abuse while both sides re-grouped before starting again.

My presence alone was enough to end it. I didn't have to say or do anything. Our man was more than happy to see me, and the other 10 fighters with another 30 abuse yellers were suddenly scared and backed off. The power of a foreign teachers 'status' on students in this country is amazing.

However, what I found particularly interesting was that when I arrived at the football pitch where the stink was unfolding, I didn't arrive as a teacher. I arrived as a mate and supporter of my student who was being attacked my another group that were not related to me. Had the fight continued in my presence I think I would have quite happily weighed in to rescue my kid. I'm not suggesting I would have fought anyone, but I wouldn't have hesitated to knock some of those little pricks on their arses to protect my student.

It seems clear to me that despite my belief that I'm not really a team player and so prefer solo sports and activities, the reality is, I am hard-wired to protect my own, be they family, friends or community members against attack. And, when that instinct is activated, there seems a sudden and clear 'turning off' of all rationalisation. I revert back to some animalistic state.

Who would have thought that a simple school yard punch up could provide such invaluable insights. I say again, the students teach me far more than I teach them!

Why?

I had the following email conversation with UPS China regarding the delay in delivery of some stuff I ordered from the US. I had previously order the same things 3 times, without ant great problem, except filling in customs declarations. This time they said I had to pay taxes.

The money is no problem, but I thought I'd ask the question just in case it was a mistake.

"You need to pay 71rmb in taxes" wrote UPS

"OK, but why do I need to pay the taxes this time, when last time I didn't have to?" wrote I

"good. please complete the form and email it back to me." wrote UPS

"Done, completed form attached. Why do I need to pay the taxes?" wrote I, wondering if UPS misunderstood my question.

"receieved. thanks." wrote UPS

"Why do I need to pay the taxes?" wrote I, becoming frustrated at the lack of response.

"you can pay the driver when he delivers it." wrote UPS

"thank you, thats helpful. But WHY do I need to pay the taxes?" wrote I, wondering why UPS mistook a why question for a how question.

"no problem." wrote UPS

"WHY DO I NEED TO PAY THE TAXES?" wrote I, wondering if the isolation of the question would force her to provide an answer.

"it is necessary." wrote UPS

"thank you for all your help." wrote I knowing that the sarcasm would be lost.

"no problem." wrote UPS, demonstrating my point.

I spend a lot of time in philosophy class teaching the difference between why and how. They are not the same. Why is the foundation of all wisdom, how is a practical realm which only becomes useful once why has been established.

Without why, how is redundant.

After this email conversation and doing further research* I have concluded that our society is moving further from wisdom and closer to redundancy.

It is true we know how to do things now that were previously only the imaginings of crazy people on acid, but it would appear we have no idea why we do any of it.

It's true that my friend at UPS probably just doesn't know why. They probably didn't tell her. And that my friends is the first sign that the end is near.

Here's the advice I give my students everyday. The advice that makes me unpopular amongst the other teachers. If you don't know WHY you are doing something, DO NOT DO IT! Reflect, ask questions, discover the answer, then act.

The only way to get our society back on track is to start asking why. Ask everyone, everyday. Pretend you are 5 years old again, and keep asking until you get an answer that satisfies your soul.


*Further reading:

Alain de Botton - any and all of his books
Eric Schlosser - Fast Food Nation (doco Food Inc)
Peter Singer - any and all of his books

A tale of two racisms

We all agree that racism is bad, right? Especially when it's happening to us or someone we know or a black guy.

For example, on return from Cambodia Skye and I were treated to a wonderful display institutional inequality from the Chinese customs police as they picked out the only black guy in the line of maybe a thousand people to be searched. Sure, he's black, he stands out. But then I'm pale blue with non-descript (some say greenish) hair and a feral beard, I stand out too (did I mention I was wearing fisherman's pants...). Oh that's right, he's black. My mistake.

You see, I'm getting fired up about this disgraceful attitude of the Chinese customs police. I'm feeling outraged on behalf of the black guy. I was ready to smash the place up and force a new revolution in China.

It should be pointed out that the black guy didn't seemed fussed. After all, a black guy with a Nigerian passport, traveling into Beijing from Phnom Penh is just damn weird. right?

Anyway, my point is that obvious racism against the minority, the little guy, always fires us normal people up (by normal I mean non-KKK or non-Liberals party members). I know it fires me up.

Yet, when the roles are reversed, when the discrimination is against the majority, in particular against the racists, I laugh and joke and make blog posts about it!

On arriving in Phnom Penh, Skye and I bought our visas and made our way to customs. Tragically, there was a bit of queue, the two customs officers had decided to open and fully search everyones bags. Bummer! Just when we thought we would be stuck there for half an hour of so, the grumpiest of all grumpy customers officers looks down the line and makes eye contact with me, then I see a flicker of recognition on his face, and wham, I get the biggest smile in the world, gleaming teeth and sparkling eyes that only Cambodian people can muster, and of course, the waive through. No line, No Search, No problem.

We didn't know why. Was it because he thought I was David Beckham? Skye quickly and in my opinion harshly, ruled that out. No, it wasn't because of my charms and good looks, it was because we were not Chinese!

Every Chinese person had their bags opened and searched, and everyone else got the smile and waive through. I laughed and thought, suck shit, as I got into the tuk tuk.

Does that make me a bad person? maybe. I know it certainly makes me a human being with passions and emotions that at times are out of my control. I know that I favour the 'underdog' and will always side with them.

But who is the underdog? who decides who is in power and who deserves the 'suck shit' laugh and apathy when in need?

Surely all inequality is bad, regardless of the victim.

But then, what is inequality. What's the difference between racism and statistical probability?

I have met at least 6 Nigerians in Beijing. And all 6 have, at some point in the conversation, tried to sell me drugs. I have also been in lots of airports, in and outside of china, and witnessed the amazing array of weird, wonderful and often illegal objects Chinese travelers stuff into their cases.

Maybe the statistics support both groups of customs officers, but does that make it OK?

Half Measures

There is no such thing as half measures in Beijing, or it seems China as a whole. The motto seems to be, 'If a jobs worth doing, its worth doing outrageously over the top.'

At first I thought this motto only applied to Public Address systems, as everytime I've ever seen a Chinese person operate a PA, they have gone straight for the iconic, setting 11, on the amp. After all, if you can't hear it on the moon, there's no point using the bloody thing.

Then I noticed that the extreme view of public address had spread to all areas. It was no longer just the opertors of PA systems. I've started to notice that anyone tasked with addressing a crowd of more than one, needs a loudspeaker, and you guessed it, the volume is set to 'bleeding ears.' Nothing says, please wait behind the line more than burst ear drums.

Now, this half measure problem is not just isolated to sound. Ah no, we also have the internet problem. You know the one, there are about 3 websites in the world that write bad things about the Chinese Govt, so, the Govt has simply banned all websites that are slightly interesting. Facebook, Twitter, all blogs, all data sharing sites, Youtube, google... the list goes on. Why ban one when you can ban them all!

Nor is it isolated to the Govt. Just the other day and perfectly normal farmer, put down his plow, picked up his pig sticking knife and went down to the local kindergarten and started slashing the kiddies. There seemed to be no motive (according to the papers) except that he was somewhat unwell mentally! (luckily Freud was on hand to work that mystery out)

You see, there is simply no middle ground. Normal one day, psycho the next.

For a while I couldn't figure it out. Then it hit me this morning. Picture this:

Two saturday's ago I went hiking. At the top of the mountain there was snow. On the sunday, it snowed heavily on those very hills just outside of Beijing. Last saturday, one full week later, I went hiking in the same hills. It was 32 degrees celsius.

Winter lasted for 7 full months. Thats below zero temperatures for 7 whole months. Then, with one weeks turn around time, its 32 degrees.

Spring and autumn simply not exist in Beijing. And so, there is no role model for the local punters to follow. Beijing weather is all or none. And its people are exactly the same!

Now, where did I put my knife...

Clap your hands.

I'm not sure exactly how it happend, but somehow since I've been back in China I've managed to get lost within myself.

I'm not sure what caused me to get lost, although to be fair I've never been famous for my sense of direction or overall spatial awareness. But there I found myself, lost, not sure how I got there and definately no idea how to get out.

It reminds me of the time I got lost walking home from the train station in Richmond! Wandering around in the dark without any real reference point, except the same street sign that I kept walking past.

Then suddenly, last saturday, I had a moment.

I took 20 of my students on a huge 12km clean-up hike in the mountains surrounding Beijing. The idea was simple, we would walk to one of the most famous scenic campsites in the Beijing countryside and pick up all the rubbish along the way... anyone who has been to Beijing knows, thats a lot of rubbish.

So anyway, we were in the final stages of the walk when a student, who I only teach one period a week and so I don't really know well, comes up to me and says sheepishly,

"ahh, Mr Fleming, um, I was wondering, you teach philosophy club right?"
"yeah" I responded
"oh cool, I was wondering, like, maybe I want to join, but I don't know what its about, can you explain it?"
"can I explain philosophy?" I said, a little taken aback
"yeah, like, what you do in the club and stuff."
"it's pretty easy really, we just talk about topics, philosophical concepts, like freedom"
"freedom... wow, I've always wondered about freedom. what do you think it is?"
"good question..." I then went on to have a discussion for about an hour with her and three other students about what it means to be free.

Thats when it hit me.

Here I am, walking in the mountains on a perfectly clear, warm spring day, discussing deep philosophical concepts with great students who are not only interested but want to know more and more. I'm doing a job that I absolutely love, I'm edging closer and closer to teaching just philosophy full time, I'm positively influencing young people by getting them to think and I'm doing it in a great country where life is easy. And what's more, Skye will be arriving here in a matter of weeks. The circle is almost complete.

I'm not lost at all, I thought, I'm happy.

I've never been happy like this before, and so, like wandering in Richmond at night, I didn't have any landmarks or guidelines to follow. I just didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't know I was happy.

But thanks to this student, I'm now clapping my hands.

Think about it.

That's right,

sing it with me...

I'm happy and I know it!

Teaching -

I passed a major teaching milestone yesterday; I kicked a kid out of my class. It was a surprisingly difficult thing to do. Not because the circumstances were questionable or potentially unfair, she deserved to be chucked out, no, it was difficult because I suddenly realised I have an unhealthy need to be liked by everyone. Even in relationships where it actually makes little difference if you are liked or not, ie Teacher/student.

Naurally of course, if your students like and respect you thats great, but its not the purpose of the relationship, the purpose is learning. So if they learn and they hate you, so be it.

Well, as I found out yesterday, its easier said than done. As I listened to her pleas for clemency, and hollow promises of change, my almost overpowering emotional reaction was to give in and let her off with it, rather than have her and her mates hate me. weird!

I didn't give in, thankfully, and then, interstingly, learned my second great lesson for the day when my other students commended me for kicking her out, and suggested that its about time!

So, I'm left wondering (yet again), who's doing the teaching here? Obviously I provide the English content, but it seems my 14 year old students are providing the life lessons. Who said teenagers don't know anything!

Beijing - a winter wonderland?

Anyone who followed this post last year will know by now that Beijing winters suck. They are cold, long and drier than a mouth full of sao's. However, this year is a little different; it's snowing!
That's right, there is moisture in Beijing, sure it's not in the air, that's still outrageously dry, but it's falling from the sky, and in buckets full. It's now been snowing for about two days... simply amazing! here's the pictures to prove it:

Of course, Beijing winter lasts about 5 months, so two days of snow won't change the overall description; winter here sucks. But at least this time around it has pockets of beauty!