The Interview

Several times since walking on the hallowed earth of the middle kingdom, I have been told by lovely Chinese ladies that I strike a remarkable resemblance to one Sir David Beckham.

I know what you're thinking, and I agree, I'm more Brad Pitt than Sir David, but what can I say, you know what its like, Chinese people think all us foreigners look the same.

Given this constant praise (?) it came as no surprise when my boss mentioned to me today that a newspaper crew were waiting in the foyer to interview me, and could I spare a few moments to have a chat with them and get a few photos taken.

Never one to turn his back on his fans. I reluctantly agreed.

The interview took about 10 minutes, the photo shoot about 4 seconds, and then I was back into the comfort of the teachers lounge, pretending to work and deflecting the jealous glares of my colleagues.

Have you ever had the sense, that even though you are the centre of attention in a situation, you are in fact, just a prop?

The interview was like something out of a Monty Python skit. The news reporter asked a question that lasted for about 3 minutes (impressive lung capacity because she didn't stop for a breath) and then my boss-slash-interpreter turns to me and says:

"how is the winter course helpful to language learners?"

I answer, with, "its great because the students are immersed in English for 3 hours everyday for 15 days. And..."

My boss-slash-interpreter-slash-puppet master, then says, "hold on, i need to translate"

she then speaks for about 3 minutes, gesticulating and obviously showing a passionate response to the question, that has bugger all to do with what I said.

This happened twice more, then, the reporter says cheerie bye bye and she's away.

Shocked, I asked my boss what that was all about, and she says, "Oh, she just needed to be able to say she spoke to a Foreign expert, I've already given her all the facts and information she needs to write the story"

Ahh the wonders of modern media... I felt like the muppet you see on Ponds ads wearing a white coat and claiming to be a doctor.