The Confidence Game -

This is a short rambling, firstly to boast about how great i am, and secondly... well actually there's only one reason.

Now, I'm not just going to crap on about how great a teacher i am. That would just be grandstanding. And as a result I am not going to talk about how last week I asked some of my advanced students to write a 300 word essay entitled "my favourite...", and two of them wrote about their favourite teacher, 'Alan' and how he is simply the bestest teacher ever (and no I didn't correct their incorrect '-est', after all, I am the bestest!) because telling such a story would just be an act of outrageous 'up-ones-selfness'.

instead I'll tell you a cute story about one of my favourite students, Martin. Martin is simply the cutest little human alive. Last week, during my 'talk time' (I call it this somewhat ironically because 5 year old English students, generally know words and short sentences, so talking is more about me asking direct questions, like 'what is that? what is this? do you like watermelon?) So anyway, I'm going around the room, asking the kiddies if their name is 'Banana', to encourage them to say, 'Noooooo, my name's Ruby, you're a banana'.

I could play this game all day, because the kids end up in fits of laughter that I just can't get enough of. So anyway, I'm going around asking, 'what do you like?' this is a difficult abstract question and often results in blank faces...except this time. I go around and one kid starts with, "I like bananas", I'm thinking cool, they'll all get it now. And they did, some liked bananas others onions (who are we to judge), then Martin says,

"I like you, Alan", then he runs towards me and gives me a huge hug!!!

I respond by saying "I like you too, Martin!" as i hug him back and recover from the goose bumps and watery eyes (my allergies playing up)

Martin then moves around to my ear, and blows into it. Now I know what you thinking, but don't go sexualising everything and making this lovely non-sexualised country as messed up as the west.

It was very cute, but the whole thing got out of hand, when Ruby, another little cutey wanted to do the same thing, but lacked the finesse and fine motor skills of Martin, and sprayed the side of face with saliva!

Ahhh, I am clucky as hell. Not good my friends, not good.

Of course, it all balances out. I did have an older kid ask me yesterday why I decided to cut a huge M in the front of my hair... little bastard!!!

After that comment I spent 25 minutes explaining why male pattern baldness is natural and not a fashion choice... little bastard!

I also had another little 5 year old who got so excited about class ending that when I said, make one line, he charged straight at me to be first in the queue and lost his footing and punched me full force in the nuts! BU HAO!

ahhh the joys of teaching!