ACL – Beijing Style

The below can be found on 'back-of-the-net.com'

Pre-match warm-up

In order to score good seats, I wandered down to the stadium early on match day to purchase the tickets from ‘the gate’; the early worm and all that. I could have been even earlier and secured the tickets online or something, but that task seemed about as easy in Beijing as finding the lost city of Atlantis with a snorkel and dolphin touch. No, this one was convenience all the way, and anyway, how many punters were really going to turn out on a chilly Beijing evening to see Guoan take on The Jets (the powerhouses of international football that they are!)

I strolled up to the security guard who was guarding the main entrance gate Chinese style (that is to say, he was all dressed up in a beautifully manicured uniform, but slumped on a stool playing video games on his phone) and asked where the ticket booth was. He gave me a huge smile, and started waving his arm like a cricket umpire announcing another Ponting boundary. At that exact moment, I heard a small rumble and when I turned I was nearly trampled by about 25 scalpers.

They were yelling and screaming, and pulling me this way and that, they all had the best deal and could all offer me more. Not convinced, I made my way to the booth, well, I say booth but I mean trestle table with a picture of the seating outline taped to it, and two very bored and disinterested young guys sitting behind it. As I approached, they waved me away, and simply pointed back to the gaggle of scalpers. Fair enough too, no need to sell direct when you’ve just unloaded most of the tickets onto the black market.

After about 15 minutes of negotiation, not over the price, but rather to secure 3 tickets with sequential numbering, I was holding in my hand three glorious Category A tickets (sequential) for the princely sum of RMB150 (approx AUD36). Bargain!

Funny thing about the sequential seating; the scalper just couldn’t comprehend why I wanted them. My Chinese is sketchy at best, but he seemed at a complete loss! Still realising that the sequential seats was the clincher for the sale he sorted it out for me. This was, of course, a warning sign but I missed it.

I had no doubt the scalper’s tickets were legit. I mean sure, they were on flimsy paper, and had the seat numbers stamped on, but its China right, no drama. That was of course until I met up with some friends pre-match, and noticed their tickets were card-board, printed and clearly had been purchased from an official ‘booth’ that more than likely had a roof! Still, it’s China right…no drama!

Kick-off

I should have known better. Never, repeat, NEVER agree to meet up with non-football fans before a match. Firstly, because you spend the whole time explaining what the ACL is, what a league is, how you qualify, why it’s important, and YES football is popular in Australia, just not in your rugby orientated mind… and why are you wearing a Wallabies Jersey again?

Too late; the mistake was made. Don’t get me wrong they are all lovely, and I guess its more people that are being introduced to football and so, more people that may support it when they return to Oz. But the main reason you should never meet up with non-football fans before the game is because they don’t understand the importance of getting to a stadium that you have never been to before early to; a) soak up the atmosphere and b) find your seat.

Needless to say, we missed the kick-off. I was running up the stairs when I heard the whistle blow. Not happy.

Interestingly, at the top of the stairs I suddenly realised two things; firstly, if you remove ‘most’ of the people from Beijing, that still leaves a lot of people. Hence, whilst most of the people in Beijing have no interest in local football, there are still a lot that do. So many in fact that even after you remove the very poor (who can’t afford tickets), the people that hate the cold, and those that prefer to watch the Beautiful Game on TV or in the pub, Beijing Guoan can still pull a crowd of over 30,000 screaming fans. Unbelievable!

The second thing was why the scalper couldn’t understand my insisting on sequential seating. As it turns out, your ticket is for the bay only, once in, it’s every man for himself and as we arrived moments after kick-off, the steward smiled and pointed to the top of the stand… the nose bleeds. This was going to be the true long march!

Luckily, another steward took pity on us and pointed us to three cheeky seats down near the front of the first tier hidden amongst the masses, with a cracking view and surrounded by some seriously noisy fans. Things were starting to look up.

We managed to squeeze our way past the people who arrived early and so had better seats closer to the aisle and settle in just in time for Beijing’s latest Aussie import to slot home a lovely goal and put Guoan one up, and send the fans around the stadium into a complete frenzy.

The Match

As a general rule Chinese people are both patriotic and reserved. The former is clear at a football match, as they cheer and chant with every touch of the ball for the home team. The latter is not so obvious as they hurl unbridled abuse at the away team with every touch. Now I’m not just talking about the usual taunts, of ‘go home’, ‘you’re rubbish’ etc, but nasty, racist and sometimes just down right rude comments. For a long time they were chanting “big nose” and “donkey penis”. The first insult is obvious, but I’m still at a loss how suggesting a man has a penis like a donkey’s is insulting.

No-one, except the Guoan players (many of whom are big noses and donkey penis’ themselves) were immune from the chants. The referee, as one would expect, received several choruses of “sha bi” (excuse the spelling) which means in English… well… ahh… let’s just say it rhymes with punt.

I know what you’re thinking, it’s the same everywhere; people fall into the group mentality and go mental. They become momentary thugs and racists as the emotion of the moment takes over. And I agree, it’s just whilst Beijingers are emotional, they very rarely show it, and it is pretty unheard of that anyone except a taxi driver would drop the C-word in the company of anyone except their drinking buddies. But on that chilly Beijing evening, even the young kid sitting on front of us, was chanting whilst occasionally smiling at his father.

Ah football… what does it do to us?

Of course, Beijing being Beijing, it wasn’t all aggression and racism. In fact, there was a large contingent of the crowd that were fantastic and completely taken in the moment. Naturally the die-hards were behind the goal and managed to sing, chant, wave flags and do the ‘bouncy bouncy’ throughout the whole game. But the best fans, and this is something that is possibly unique to Beijing, were the “child-like” adults; the grown men that would giggle like school girls as they punched the giant beach ball back into the air, or the old men, getting angry because the next bay failed to continue the wave. This is why I love Beijing and love going to any sporting event held here. The crowd is devoted to their team and also able to release and have a good time. Granted that comes with some bad elements, but for the most part its hilarious and fun to be a part of.

I would love to comment here on the Jets fans that travelled half way around the world to support their team, and show the Guoan punters what true devotion is. But alas, if there were any there, I didn’t see them. Despite a heavy security presence in the ‘away’ section behind the goal, there was not one single Jets jersey amongst the green of the security uniforms. Poor show Jets, poor show.

Post Match

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but for some reason I absolutely loved watching The Jets get pumped by an equally poor Guoan outfit. Let’s not beat around the bush, the game was poor, neither looked particularly impressive and beside a few good runs by the Guoan players there was very little happening. I know I should have been supporting my countrymen, but the reality is I’m a Sydney fan – fullstop.

There is nothing better that watching players your team has rejected play horrendously bad on the world stage. I know, I know, if Petrovski had slotted home late the in second half (and he should have, it was a massive sitter) I would have been claiming that he was a Sydney man originally. But still, he missed and we were right to shift him. As for poor ‘old’ Topor Stanley, I thought he was OK, but the crowd seemed to hate him. They booed his every touch. I like to think that the instant hatred was nothing more sinister that the fact that he’s rubbish and was wearing the dreaded number 4 (never underestimate the power of a number).

This game was clear evidence of the power of the ACL. If 32,000 devoted punters can turn out on a chilly Beijing school night to watch their side pump a ‘not-at-the-top-of-their-game’ Jets side, then imagine the draw for Guoan vs Urawa Red Diamonds, with all that simmering hatred between the Chinese and Japanese. They’d be erecting outdoor screens across the city for that clash.

All we need now is to develop a bigger Australian travelling contingent and, oh yeah, more competitive A-league sides!

'Get the Beers In' suffer first loss in 12 games

Well I guess the dream run had to come to an end eventually. After a horrific start to last season, we managed to put a string of wins together up there with the mighty Gers 9 in a row. We were unstoppable, but due to the short season and the general rubbishness of the bottom and middle teams we were unable to catch the two teams ahead of us on the table. So we missed promotion to the top flight by 2 points. An absolute tragedy for our fans... well ok, our fan base consists of 5 members, who it is rumoured are also the team members... but nevertheless it was hard to take.

So, we have just started the new season, and buoyed by our previous success we opened the season with a 6-1 drumming of the 'China Sports Daily' team. you'd think a team made up of sports reporters would be ok... you'd be wrong.

Then we played our new rivals, 'the azzurri', now I know what you're thinking, bloody Italians. But in fact they are a team of 6 or 7 Chinese guys, all of which can play, and at least two of which have a tight perm leading into a delicious mullet.

This is a long season, and we will play everyone twice, but again the middle to lower ranks are rubbish, so its a bit like the SPL, its a two team race, and who draws first blood has the advantage.

The ref (who is a lovely bloke) pulled me aside before the match and said something cryptic in half English half Chinese. I had no idea what he was talking about, so he made it very clear...

"they are very good, they will win"

Yeah thanks mate! I said.

10 minutes in, their lightening pace and ball control meant they were all over us, but we held firm. Shot after shot, we held.

Then, in true poachers style, we nicked a goal. Vere, our giant English midfielder-cum-defender-cum-striker, was in the right place at the right time to slot away a deflected cross.

1-0, and the perm brigade started to panic.

Moments later, Aubrey, our Dutch super star, was wedged between two players about 5 metres out from goal, a third defender was approaching (Chinese do not hack, like Aussies and Brits), so he rolled the ball left as if he was going to try and break through, but half way through the roll, dropped his foot back, and toe poked it at goal...

2-0, and the perms were starting to frizz. I wink at the ref, and give him a big, 'stick that up your arse smile'

After the break they started to get nasty: lots of hacks, and verbal abuse. There's a funny thing, they would slag us in Chinese, we'd slag them in English, neither knew what was being said, but both knew it was nasty... its quite nice, you can't snap in case they aren't talking about you, but you still get fired up, in case they are!

5 minutes to go, and the wheels well and truly fell off the Beers. Two lucky long range curlers put them equal. Then, 1 minute from time, the head perm and trash talking ring leader, looses a shot that Georg "The Hammer" Albertz would have been proud of, and...

2-3 the perms go wild. And the ref winks at me and gives me the 'i told you so' smile... prick!

Getting beat was bad enough, but after he scored, the head perm ran around us yelling:

"win-ah, win-ah, we win-ah"

Devastating. It took me two days to get over it... but never fear as they say in the classics...

NO SURRENDER

we'll beat them next time round and hopefully win the comp on goal difference!

5-a-side Soccer

That's right my friends, I have joined a 5 a side soccer team. Well actually I am a founding member!!!! This may turn out to be an important factor when we go on to win the Mastercard Beijing Club Soccer League (division two). Or when they realise i'm rubbish and try and oust me!!!

The team is truly international. They consist of:

Me - obviously
Kang - an Australian guy who used to work at my school, but has since landed a very sweet job in an international school teaching P.E
Aubrey - a Dutch teacher, who also happens to be Kang's boss.
Dave - A Glaswegian science teacher
Rio - An Australian Tennis coach - no-one really knows him, or even knows why he's in the team, but hey, its China, randomness is the only way.
Antonio - A Spanish science teacher.
Josh - An Englishmen who occasionally turns up, gets into fights then disappears for a few weeks

Individually we are weak, but together, we join forces to become the irrepressible - 'Get the beers in'

I should point out that the Mastercard Club Football comp is not some mickey mouse operation like the Tempe indoor I used to play.

Firstly, its outdoor. The pitch is FIFA approved synthetic grass (the you know the really cool stuff that is like little plastic blades of grass).

Secondly, they have real referees and monetary fines for yellow and red cards. Its rumoured that a red card will see you suspended for 1 week and fined upwards of 300 yuan (AUD50).

Thirdly, because most of the teams are expats its like a world cup every week. Italians playing dirty and sneaking wins in the last minute, Chinese diving, and Russians threatening to kill people's families... its bloody great!

So, now that I have clearly explained that the comp is serious, you won't be surprised to hear that in order to join the comp we needed to play two trial matches to have our level assessed. After the trial matches we quickly sent off a late entry form for the paralympics 5 a side comp, but unfortunately, whilst the organisers felt for our situation, they explained that firstly a team must consist of 8 members from the same country, and secondly being unco-ordinated is not yet considered a disability!! HA! bureaucracy gone mad!

After the trials we were placed in the South League division two.

By some miracle (some of the other teams are suggesting by design) we are a better team than the trials showed. We have since played 4 league matches (we play double headers every Tuesday night!) won 2 and lost 2, we are sitting in 5th place in a comp of 8. Sounds bad but we are only 2 points off second place, and in fact, 2 wins tonight will see us move into second place!

to quote escape to victory, "Hatch, Hatch, we can win this."

Oh did i mention that last week, it was pouring with rain, and we only had 4 players!!! we managed to hold the very fancied Italian team to 1-1 right until the dying moments when they got a lucky goal (always the way, bloody Italians!) and then we absolutely poleaxed a Chinese team 4-0.

Stay posted ladies and gentlemen, because I can sense a league win for 'Get the Beers in'.