Clap your hands.

I'm not sure exactly how it happend, but somehow since I've been back in China I've managed to get lost within myself.

I'm not sure what caused me to get lost, although to be fair I've never been famous for my sense of direction or overall spatial awareness. But there I found myself, lost, not sure how I got there and definately no idea how to get out.

It reminds me of the time I got lost walking home from the train station in Richmond! Wandering around in the dark without any real reference point, except the same street sign that I kept walking past.

Then suddenly, last saturday, I had a moment.

I took 20 of my students on a huge 12km clean-up hike in the mountains surrounding Beijing. The idea was simple, we would walk to one of the most famous scenic campsites in the Beijing countryside and pick up all the rubbish along the way... anyone who has been to Beijing knows, thats a lot of rubbish.

So anyway, we were in the final stages of the walk when a student, who I only teach one period a week and so I don't really know well, comes up to me and says sheepishly,

"ahh, Mr Fleming, um, I was wondering, you teach philosophy club right?"
"yeah" I responded
"oh cool, I was wondering, like, maybe I want to join, but I don't know what its about, can you explain it?"
"can I explain philosophy?" I said, a little taken aback
"yeah, like, what you do in the club and stuff."
"it's pretty easy really, we just talk about topics, philosophical concepts, like freedom"
"freedom... wow, I've always wondered about freedom. what do you think it is?"
"good question..." I then went on to have a discussion for about an hour with her and three other students about what it means to be free.

Thats when it hit me.

Here I am, walking in the mountains on a perfectly clear, warm spring day, discussing deep philosophical concepts with great students who are not only interested but want to know more and more. I'm doing a job that I absolutely love, I'm edging closer and closer to teaching just philosophy full time, I'm positively influencing young people by getting them to think and I'm doing it in a great country where life is easy. And what's more, Skye will be arriving here in a matter of weeks. The circle is almost complete.

I'm not lost at all, I thought, I'm happy.

I've never been happy like this before, and so, like wandering in Richmond at night, I didn't have any landmarks or guidelines to follow. I just didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't know I was happy.

But thanks to this student, I'm now clapping my hands.

Think about it.

That's right,

sing it with me...

I'm happy and I know it!